It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
