Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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