So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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