I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
