Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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