I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
