in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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