I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
