was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
