i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
do nipples grow back?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
