ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
