Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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