Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
