The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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