Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
