so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
