this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
