He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
