absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
