While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
