Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
