WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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