Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Semen is not good for contacts.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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