omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I need help removing her.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Im part way to drunk.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize