Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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