Will you blow on my dice?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It's Friday. Sex?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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