It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
