My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
