Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
