I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Couch. On fire.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
