well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
