I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
