My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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