FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
