Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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