yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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