I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
