This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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