That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
