nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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