I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
