so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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