We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
