i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
