Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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