so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
