Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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