I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
