soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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