he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
