To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
